“It is often difficult for us to accept our Lord as He is…To serve, suffer, sacrifice our lives, and the like can be difficult to accept. But this is the way of our Lord—it is the way of the Suffering Servant of God.” 1
It’s only when I experience an extraordinary pivotal moment that I assess my actions. Whether being convicted of sin and reassessing, or being on track and taking a powerful moment of gratitude, I am a relationship person, and it is through my direct interactions with others that motivate so much of what I do and propel the choices I make.
I think that is why I can so easily get lost in the world, which I think sometimes is on purpose. As though I throw away my compass in some sort of refute that my life is to be something other than what it is. I get swept up in the glamour of what I see around me, distracted by baubles and lights, lulled by the promise of “good enough” through self-mastery.
It’s so alluring. The perceived freedom I see from others who abandon their traditional roles or duties to instead fearlessly speak their truth and forge a new path where they are fully integrated spiritual beings having a human experience.…but is that the truth?
I’m starting to see where I have been hoodwinked. For the first time I am beginning to believe that those who abandon their roots or who redefine their responsibilities aren’t as free as they make themselves out to be. It’s not up to me to judge others, but I can gather information, and from what I am gathering, these people who call to me aren’t doing as well as their highlight reels would have me believe.
The enemy masquerades as an angel of light,2 trying to draw me in with the things I loved as an innocent child. Defenceless, I will naturally go toward the baubles and the fun. I will believe the lies that I can have exactly the life I want, I just have to put myself first. Typically what happens during these occasions of enchantment, is that something painful happens that jolts me out of my trance.
Paradoxically, it is during those very real and inevitable moments of pain and conviction when I am affirmed in my identity in Christ, and where I return on the path to eternity with my heavenly Father. I’ve always wanted to have a powerful connection to God. As I get older and more focused, I see that while faith through grace saved me,3 it is works which demonstrates that faith,4 and as I deepen my faith, my works are a natural response to that saving grace.
I can see why people left Jesus. Because he is the Suffering Servant, and to identify with him is to be close to oppression, poverty, and hardship. But this is the calling of the Christian - to look out for others5 and to be crucified with Christ.6 But it doesn’t stop there, because we are then resurrected with Christ, in turn.7
And those resurrected moments are electric.8 They are greater than any worldly high I have experienced and where I want to expand my works to gather more lost sheep to His flock,9 through attraction, not promotion; through the example of peace and joy in my life, that is a direct result of living for Christ.
As my faith deepens with every “yes” I offer to God, which is ultimately choosing love over fear, I remember the sacrifice that Jesus made on Calvary. I trust that not only will I be okay, but that I will be rewarded for my good works.10 Sometimes that reward is to feel a close connection to my Creator where I feel like I can really make a difference, as God is made visible through me. That is the power that I am truly seeking and where I can be misguided on my journey, lured in by the pitches of the world instead, but when I can regroup and set my gaze back on Christ, I know that I have nothing to lose, and all the glory, made possible through my cooperation and God’s generosity, to gain.
