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Where There's a Will There's a Way
I fully believe it is possible to live without conflict
I’m processing a lot about conflict and compassion. I identify with both forces, but I believe, perhaps foolishly, that we can in fact live without conflict. A friend said to me the other day that conflict is inevitable, that it’s just personalities clashing. And while I agree that is the broad definition of conflict, I maintain it is nuanced, and in that, we can be creative to work around it.
My recovery teaches me to resist the qualities that lead to conflict, and practicing compassion teaches me that all we ultimately want is to feel free and in control of our own lives. When I take a quick survey of all of the conflict in my life, no matter the circumstances, the common denominator is a feeling that my autonomy is not being respected.
For a long time I felt like a contradiction, because I oftentimes feel inherently angry, and I carry with me that destructive nature, but I’m also a peacekeeper, and can effortlessly bring people together. Now I know this seeming polarity isn’t really that at all; rather, it’s the conviction that I rage against the heavenly realms, not earthly ones. (Ephesians 6:12) I believe this is where we all go wrong: we’ve misidentified the enemy.
It takes discipline to exist outside of conflict. Lots of self-care, lots of debriefing with trusting people, lots of responsible transferring of aggressive energy…it’s truly a spiritual endeavour. I’m still learning how to fully navigate this correct distribution of combative energy, but so far I have not yet come across and kind of tension where compassion cannot outweigh conflict.