I was listening to my favourite preacher, Bishop Robert Barron, and I heard him say that to love is to will the good of the other. This is the Catholic teaching of true love, so I have heard it before, but this time, it landed differently.
I've been feeling like I'm on the backburner lately. My small family expanded at the end of December, and I became an auntie for the first time. Through my nephew's advent and arrival, I have been utterly humbled, taking a backseat in family gatherings. When I read a modern translation from Romans chapter 12 the other day, I got to see how this can be turned around in worship. The wisdom in this translation reads, "practice playing second fiddle".
In literature and political science courses, we learned about a concept called "the other"; a tool used to ultimately desensitize and destroy, and in recovery we talk about being on the outside, looking in. I have always felt close to this concept, but it wasn't until a major life event where I could really face it and name it. So when I heard this definition of true love from my new perspective, I got to see a new relationship with the idea of the "other". In God's eyes, yes, I am the other: it is my happiness and prosperity that He is willing.
So while I might sometimes go through my days feeling insignificant, I have the power now to offer those moments to God in true worship, instead of keeping it deep within me, having it manifest in self-pity, victimized by my feelings of not-good-enough. Today, I let myself feel the hope that I can build a life that I am proud of, and where I have purpose, through true love.