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It's okay to make mistakes. Our value is not rooted in the pretence of perfectionism
I’ve been developing my compassion, and I’ve discovered that when I feel compassion toward others, that warmth and serenity ends up being directed inward, and I find it more easy to show myself compassion, too.
I find it almost instinctual to be hard on others when they make mistakes. This is partly because I tend to perceive the world through a victimized mentality, and I have historically resented others for having opportunities that I did not view myself as having (but “should” have). In my even less compassionate moments, I will also believe I could have done/do a better job.
What I now understand is that the problem with harsh judgements is that it’s easy to make mistakes. At the end of the day, no one can get it 100% perfect 100% of the time. Sometimes I am the one to catch a person’s mistake, sometimes someone else catches mine. I realized that when I demand perfection from others, then I invariably demand it from myself. It becomes a cycle where I then become even harder on myself when I make a mistake.
Today I build up my self-esteem which in turns helps me practice compassion, by seeking out skills or supports to help me get to where I want to go in my professional and personal life. I discovered that when I start having wins in my life, I can feel more secure and less a victim of circumstance or poor health. With new space from having a bit of confidence, I find showing compassion to myself and to others to be much more palpable than I originally thought.