As I enter into my third week of being coffee/caffeine free, I hit a bit of a wall. At the end of last week, I found myself really missing coffee, which lasted the full weekend. Today I have recovered from that deep longing, but in the throes of it, I got to see how much I relied on coffee to soothe me or to alleviate my mood. It came to a head yesterday with an overwhelming feeling of self-pity and the certainty that I was having a midlife crisis.
But today is much better. I am totally relieved of that bitter morass of listlessness, and I am even feeling a sense of new beginnings and the anticipation of continuing to evolve and transcend as I aspire toward a better version of myself. It feels like the veil that left me feeling like I was grappling in the dark has been removed, as though I can now see truth, and that it's not frightening.
I feel a connection to my communities, and a profound knowing that I am more than okay. The heaviness that I have felt looming over me for so long, agitated in my detox, has been lifted, and a sense of appreciation and gratitude remains grounded here with me, guiding me on.