As I was driving to cat sit before starting my work day, tired and reeling from a recent disappointment, I listened to the GPS in silence. I knew by this point the way, but in my discomfort sought at that hour to feel guided. As my mind scanned my memory, validating certain life choices, I realized that time really is a precious resource that, if I truly understood its impermanence, would surely think and behave differently.
I believe that we are all made to be worshippers. Whether to a deity, a person, an addiction, an object, an idea, or ad infinitum, we consciously or unconsciously direct our attention often single-pointedly in the pursuit of happiness.
In my revelation, I saw that my inability to focus the way I want ultimately reflects my disbelief that I can correctly choose what is best for me. But if I could believe, or better yet trust, that I have found the best path to take, and simply walk it, I might actually experience life the way I truly want.
And in this reflection, I feel empowered to spend my time wisely, choosing what is truly best for me, and to resist the nagging thought that I am losing or missing out. I’ve learned to pause and to be silent in discomfort. It is in that space where I best worship.